I knew I always looked sexy in this kit!

This past weekend, Jen and I took our annual trip up to Chicago to visit our good friends Pat and Kristy. I hate missing a good local race like RATL but the opportunity to head up to Chi-town without the kids just couldn't be passed up; besides, Pat is a great rider and I was sure we'd get some decent riding in while there.

The weather forecast for the weekend showed Saturday as the best opportunity to get some miles in. What Chicago lacks in elevation (i.e. hills) they more than make up for in wind. The wind was something like 25 mph sustained with probably 30-35mph wind gusts, definitely a lot of work to keep any type of momentum going while heading north along the lake. Fortunately we'd be heading into the wind in the beginning and then taking advantage of mother nature on the return trip home. The plan for this ride was to leave from their place down in Hyde Park and then work our way over via the city streets to the bike path along the lake shore. This isn't the first time I've ridden up in Chicago and I knew what to expect while riding on the roads with Pat. Everyone has probably seen the video of the bike messenger races in NYC and getting around here in Chicago isn't much different. It's a lot different than riding here in Northeast Ohio but after experiencing this a few times I now really love the rush of adrenaline that flows when you're dodging through moving traffic! Who knows, maybe I'll give up my gig as an architect and become a bike messenger!

OK, I'm not really going to blog every twist and turn of the bike path for you. I would just say that first of all, if you haven't been to Chicago, go. This is by far my favorite American City and I could feasibly see the Miner's relocating up there someday (soon?). Second of all, when you get to Chicago, make sure to spend some time down on the Lakefront. Being down there, whether you're walking, riding or people watching, it really makes you think about how bad Cleveland messed up on the development of their waterfront. Lots of missed opportunity up there but I digress.

So, here's where my fun morning of dodging through rollerbladers, dog walkers and recreation riders takes a turn for the worse. I have always been completely honest and transparent in my blog, but if you're under the age of 18, you may not want to continue reading as I don't want to be responsible for the corruption of any minors. Back to the story.....we made it all the way to the end of the bike path which is about 18 or so miles north of where we started. Anticipating a fun and fast return back to Pat & Kristy's condo, I decided the half-way point would be a good place to make a quick pit stop before turning around. Fortunately, there was a public restroom right there...what luck! As we roll up, there's a guy walking down the path and like anybody would probably do, I tossed out a hello and what's up. He mumbled something that I didn't really hear as I was concentrating on getting to the bathroom before the Gatorade that was inside of me made a forceful exit. So, I unclipped out of my pedals, put the bike against the wall and here comes this same guy again into the restroom. I thought it was a bit strange as he had probably just left there but who knows, maybe he was having some issues and couldn't venture far away from the safety of a toilet. Who was I to judge? Another second of taking off and stashing my gloves and in I went. To my surprise, the restroom was somewhat large with 4 urinals and this guy was at the far end. Thank God I know enough about the unwritten rule of not standing next to someone so I went to the one that was two away from him because the last one was in plain view of the exterior and I do like a bit of modesty. You know how you see things out of your peripheral vision that you don't really want or intend to see? Well, I can tell that this guy has got some 'weird' type of movement there for going pee. I chalked it up to maybe a Chicago thing and that he was just finishing up. I've always said and been told that shake it three times and any more than that you're playing with yourself. Well, out of my peripheral vision, I could see that this guy was looking at me and he probably wasn't peeing, I couldn't be sure but damn it really seemed weird. Of all the times to get stage fright while going to the bathroom and all I could do was stand there and pray for me to pee soon. I was frantically thinking, pee or leave, pee or leave.....My decision was immediately made when his random, slow hand movements sped up and some moaning occurred. That's it, I had all the evidence that I needed, this guy wasn't peeing, how do I say it discreetly...he was choking the chicken, polishing his knob, pleasuring himself and he was using me as his sexy pinup boy. AUGH!!! AUGH!!! AUGH!!! I quickly got out of there, still not having went and left immediately. I remember having the thought, do I say something to this guy, do I tell Pat to come in and we can laugh at him for being insane, do I kick his ass, maybe call the cops on him? My first intuition was to just get on the bike and go which is what I did. This guy was a Freak with a capital F and who knows what else he was capable of. So, there you have it Miner getting violated in Chicago while on a bike ride. I will always be careful now when venturing into a public bathroom. Maybe I will do what women do and have a friend go in with me or something.

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